WEST DOVER — In this final stretch of the reality show that has been the “election” of the next U.S. president, it is hard to conjure any of the emotional responses that usually spur voters to cast their ballots.
Whatever one's predominant feeling in this election cycle - whether anger or revulsion or excitement or hope - it seems all have been obliterated by the igniting and exploding daily news bombs (and the unsavory details in their aftermath) of candidates' dubious character traits, past deeds, and future plans.
Exhaustion is not really an emotion, but it is the closest one I have when I think of Nov. 8.
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For me, much of my feelings of depletion can be attributed to the high hopes and excitement I had for the potential of a President Bernard Sanders.
For months, I was addicted to watching Sanders' rallies on YouTube. They felt like the start of something big and actually transformative. It was gratifying, and reassuring, to witness the future generation - those oft-mentioned millennials - “getting it.” I am also a sucker for the unexpected rise of a bona fide outsider.
But Bernie's track record of being a consistently decent human being and a courageous truth-teller (not to mention, when it came to the consequences of war, trade deals, income inequality, and much more, quite a bit prophetic) meant that along with the wisdom of an independent mind came a big win for integrity, empathy, and, causally, actual justice for all.
This past weekend, Bernie was at it again here in Brattleboro, at the local high school, championing Vermont's local and state candidates. My kids went to see him as if to a rock concert, but I am in a weird phase of denial. That familiar image of Bernie-at-podium is too much, too soon.
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Since Bernie's exit from the political stage, however, there has been little discussion by the two major-party contenders of the major crises we face: climate change, war, imperialism, the fact that some really smart people have determined that the United States is now an oligarchy.
I miss those topics being addressed, out in the open. I miss the idea that we might be at stage one of acknowledging our multiple crises so that we might get about remedying them.
I remember thinking, when I made the decision to move to Vermont from North Carolina almost 10 years ago, how I didn't want to raise my kids in a school system that wasn't acknowledging the reality of climate change, how I wanted to get on with it.
I wanted to find a place that was several steps ahead - progressive - and already engaging kids on what they could do to help reverse the problem.
I wanted them to learn to reject those habits of the typical American consumer that contribute to the destruction of the planet, to species extinction, including our own. I wanted them to learn how to be citizens of the era we are actually living in.
Now, the topics surrounding the election seem pretty surface, reduced to “Who are you voting for?” and “Why?”
This, in my experience, has been followed by personal attacks on why voting for a certain candidate is wrong and/or whether one's vote can be blamed for the future state of fascism in America.
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So what can we do? What can we say? How can we move forward when so much seediness has left many of us dazed and confused?
Honestly, I don't know.
What I do know is that most people living in these green hills of Windham County and beyond - regardless of whether they are voting for Trump, or Clinton, or Gary Johnson, or Jill Stein - are really decent people who care a lot about the future of the country, people who, through this whole debacle, see much more clearly what is just plain unacceptable and wrong.
I also think that each of us has the right to vote for whomever we want without being harassed about it. We all come from different places, from different perspectives. We all have different patterns of reasoning.
We each have an individual conscience that filters and prioritizes what rings true to us, what makes sense.
I have friends and family, collectively, who are voting for each one of these candidates. But come Nov. 9, we are all only going to have one president.
It is going to be grim for many of us. I hope, though, that we will come out of what feels like the gutter with eyes opened wider and that we will be more directed and less distracted by what spews from many of the talking heads who work for corporations that profit from spectacle over substance.
Whatever future we have under whatever administration, it will be a reset from this nightmare of an election. Resets can be promising. Perhaps we can realign with less bickering about who is worse, who is better, who is evil incarnate, who is a lost cause. I am imagining the phrase “peaceful coexistence” like a mantra.
Who knows? If we all do the same, it might move the dial toward opening channels, breaking down walls.
Peaceful coexistence, and a laser focus on the dire issues - like peace - which, as the Doomsday Clock keeps on ticking, is going to require solidarity to bring about.