GUILFORD — One of the most liberating moments of my young life took place in 1968, when, at age 14, the school dress code finally loosened to the point where it ceased to exist.
I had always hated the compulsory skirts and knee socks that allowed the cold wind to freeze us girls as we walked to and from school. I definitely felt more comfortable in every way in my ratty, ripped jeans that I wore to school the minute I was able.
Feminism was blooming, although the death of the school dress code had more to do with the general chaos of the times.
I was beyond excited to learn that there were girls and women who were looking at an alternative to what I saw as the uninspiring future destiny as a housewife or a member of the “female professions” - as in when my ex-Marine high school guidance counselor sent me crying from his office when he suggested that I attend secretarial school.
There was much to learn about the history of women's rights: the fact that women couldn't even vote not that long before, or the fact that women's wages were often nonexistent, or far too low, for the vital work of raising the next generation, for taking care of the elderly and infirm, and for keeping the institutions of homes, schools, and health care humming along.
My main takeaway from the movement for women's rights was that we pay large salaries to all the wrong people. That inequality has gotten so much worse since the era of big tech has taken over.
I wish the dominant message of feminism was that we need to value the work of raising the next generation, of caring for those who need our help to live.
In this era of climate destruction, I would add that those who are working to keep our planet sustainable and livable are also generally undercompensated. And those people are often women.
Even as a teen, I knew that for some, the goal of feminism is for women to become CEOs, senators, president, or whatever other symbols of success this society rewards with prestige and money - and that in doing so, they would co-opt the movement to strengthen a social order that was unequal and unfair.
We will never have a fair and just society without gender equality.
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Fast forward to 2022. We now see a crazy amalgam of attempts to put women's rights back into the model of the distant past, and at the same time a movement of insane, far-right women who are mindblowingly anti-feminist but still are willing and able to talk a good game when it comes the their own rights to lie, cheat, and steal elections.
Some of the anti-feminist proposals and statements that have been thrown against the wall like Donald Trump's ketchup:
• A man should burn all his wife's pants, as wearing pants makes a woman transgender.
• A child bearing the fetus of a rapist should have the baby, and it will make her a better person.
• Women should not be able to divorce, even if they are survivors of violence.
• No one should have access to birth control or agency over the size of her family.
• Legal, safe abortion is a thing of the past.
In our current moment, I am sure there are those who are still thinking about the breaking-the-glass-ceiling approach to women's rights.
So how many feminists actually would be delighted to have a president Nikki Haley? Or how about Trump acolytes Kari Lake, Marjorie Taylor Greene, or so many other monsters?
Did Margaret Thatcher actually advance the rights of poor and working women (or any women who are not in the elite)?
Do people like Amy Coney Barrett, raised to be a “handmaid” to her husband in her People of Praise cult, ignore all those teachings when they take on a job like Supreme Court justice? Does her husband make all her decisions for her? Or does the far right justify a woman in this position because it insures one more soldier in the ongoing war on women's rights?
I am not sure how these Republican, anti-feminist women look at their own power over others.
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Women are registering to vote at a record clip. For any of us working on issue organizing - whether it is climate, sane restrictions for guns, justice for immigrants, voting rights - women are in the forefront.
When I was a young person in the anti-Vietnam war movement, all the leadership I ever encountered was male. Feminism has altered the internal thinking of so many of us that we would no more accept all-male leadership than we would accept only white people leading our organizations.
It is vital that, at a time when women's health and futures are under attack from the political and the religious right, we create a feminism that promotes humane and egalitarian values.
Career feminism has not created a better society. It elevates the most talented, ambitious, and tech-savvy to positions of power while the vast majority of women still earn less than their male counterparts, still work at the most underpaid jobs, and still watch our rights erode daily.
But some of the women who have been most successful - like the amazing progressive women in the House of Representatives - are devoting their lives to making the United States a society where women are respected and have opportunities.
While we are in the likely process of electing our first woman to send to Washington from Vermont, Becca Balint will be an amazing U.S. representative - not only because she believes in policies that boost women, but also because she will promote a country that works for all of us.
Becca is a tireless fighter for fairness for all, and she will need to stand up to the many men and women in the Christian nationalist Republican party who are working to push our country into the distant past - when women were legally and economically powerless.