Jan Ameen has enjoyed a long career in managing community and regional solid waste challenges in Massachusetts and Vermont.
WESTMINSTER-I appreciate Jeff Potter's earnest commentary in a recent issue of The Commons. I can imagine how challenging it is to offer everyone the chance to speak their truth and express their beliefs and choices, especially in a dualistic world where most people believe "I am right, and the other is wrong. I am good, and they are bad."
The most vehement letters and opinions recently regarded the Israeli/Gaza war. I learned two decades ago that there is no convincing people on either side that their information is wrong. You cannot convince an entrenched believer that your entrenched beliefs are the correct ones.
In addition to the war(s), there are a lot of letters and opinions now about the U.S. election. Same thing. It's pretty difficult to convince a Trump supporter to vote for Harris or a Harris supporter to vote for Trump.
To contest a contrary belief most often does not change that person's belief. To me, it creates a negative energy loop that seems to escalate like this: One is angry, the other is angry. One yells, the other yells. One yells louder, the other yells louder. One calls the other names, the other returns the names. One gets violent, the other gets violent. Someone loses their life. Someone goes to jail. All parties are harmed, and no beliefs are changed.
If someone has chosen to throw a rock through a house window, then it seems to me that they are now in the violent stage.
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I understand the desire to right wrongs and correct injustices. I spent many years writing scorching letters to the editor and to people I believed were responsible for grave injustice. I set fire to several bridges and didn't care that they burned.
However, when a friend told me that my nickname was "The Reamer," it shocked me.
Of course, that is exactly what I did, over and over again, but the idea that my legacy would be "The Reamer" shook me to my core. I imagined my obituary including the details of my life as "The Reamer."
Instead of manifesting that ending, I chose to learn a new way of being. I decided to become a warrior of peace. Not necessarily just the peace that counters war, but a solid peace within.
I no longer try to change minds but aim each day to soften hearts. This approach is not about the other person but about me, about how I want to live my days, and the energy that I want to send forth.
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Dr. Masaru Emoto studied the effects of words, pictures, and music as energy on frozen river and lake water crystals. He and his team put water in jars and taped words or pictures to each jar. They froze the water then examined the water crystals. (His work continues now by others.)
Most striking to me was to see the deformed water crystal with the word "hate" or "I hate you" compared to the beautiful snowflake-like crystal with the word "love."
An adult human body contains up to 60% water. The brain and heart are composed of 73% water. I read a post recently that connected the energy of our words and thoughts to the water molecules in our body and to the water molecules in the air around us.
We all have the ability to choose loving words and thoughts that may actually keep the water in our body looking like the love snowflake.
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In recent years, I have chosen not to contribute to duality to the greatest extent possible. I have chosen to focus on what I can control, on what I can change within, and what I can express to others that is kind and loving.
I don't condone choices or actions that harm another, but I also do not focus on them or connect my energy to that energy. Instead, I have chosen to focus on unity consciousness, which says that my actions affect the human, animal, and plant collective. I walk through my days consciously spreading kindness locally to offset the global epidemic of pain and suffering.
I believe my choices can create positive change. During the early days of the pandemic, in March 2020, I decided to begin every email with "I hope this finds you well." I used that in personal and professional emails - just about every single one. I mostly still use that opening line 4.5 years later. It conveys my greatest hope that the recipient is physically, mentally, and emotionally well.
Prior to March 2020, I hardly ever read that phrase in an email that was not from a friend. Recently, I got an email at work from a student in college somewhere in Massachusetts. Her email began, "I hope this finds you well."
I'm not sure why she used that phrase, and it doesn't matter. The beauty is that it has entered the email lexicon.
* * *
My dad often said, "What goes around, comes around." I have believed that concept since I was a child. I have watched its truth in local, national, and world news. It guides me when I read angry, condescending, accusatory letters in the paper.
I believe that how I respond will create a circle that will come around. So to every angry, despairing letter writer, to every reamer aching for justice: I will not try to change your beliefs, nor do I judge you.
Rather, I hope this finds you well.
This Voices Response was submitted to The Commons.
This piece, published in print in the Voices section or as a column in the news sections, represents the opinion of the writer. In the newspaper and on this website, we strive to ensure that opinions are based on fair expression of established fact. In the spirit of transparency and accountability, The Commons is reviewing and developing more precise policies about editing of opinions and our role and our responsibility and standards in fact-checking our own work and the contributions to the newspaper. In the meantime, we heartily encourage civil and productive responses at voices@commonsnews.org.